Fear, Doubt, and Worry Controlling Your Life? Time for Courage, Power and Strength!

The brain, it is theorized, is set up evolutionarily to be more in tune with negative input - stressful events, scary scenarios, ruminating worries - all seem to settle into the mind with ease.  Positive feelings of strength, power, courage and confidence take more work.  This is thought to be an evolutionary holdover from the days when we needed to be very wary of our environment - from weather to wild animals and other dangers, it was important for the brain to pay attention to scary things- to record and track all events that seemed to have danger involved.  We don't have those same needs anymore - no more saber-toothed tigers hiding behind the trees, or a need to track and understand weather patterns, so we can tell when a big storm is threatening.  However, we still have that brain.  It is still paying attention to danger.  This makes it better at attending to those things it considers threatening - bills piling up, relationship challenges, difficulties at work, etc.  Now, our thoughts are scarier than the external world!

I have heard that for every negative thought, you have to think of 2 or 3 positives to equal things out.  While the math may not be so exact, in theory, this is correct.  We have to try harder to get the brain in tune with all of our strengths and less in tune with the scary stuff around us.

1)  Breathe:  Let's begin with a breath that announces victory!  Ujjayi breath translates to victorious breath.  This is sometimes called the Darth Vader breath.  I think it sounds like the sound of the "ocean" when I put a shell up to my ear.  Try the breath with help from this video:  http://www.yogajournal.com/video/video/ujjayi-breath-learn-yoga-breathing-technique/

2)  Meditate:   Hold palms upward on the knees or thighs. As you inhale, breathe in strength, power, courage, confidence.  As you breathe out, release any barriers – worry, fear, anxiety, doubt, frustration.  Say the words, "I bring in courage.  I release fear." Then, just breathe in strength, power, courage only.  Leave the negative side out and focus solely on the powerful statement and breathing it in.  At the same time, imagine the palms having powerful magnets pulling and attracting in the courage and confidence you seek.  Fill your internal space with these strong energies.  Stay as long as you like. 

3)  Relaxation:   Relaxation is the time when the mind and body build strength and grow stronger.  Muscles break down with exercise.  The mind gets worn and tired from thinking.  Giving yourself time to relax, builds strength and power in the mind

and the body.  Settle into a reclined position on the floor or bed.  Quiet the mind and focus on feeling the body completely relax.  As it does so, you will feel it seeming to melt into the surface beneath you.  Surrender completely to that melted feeling.  Quiet and still the mind.  Before coming out from the position, feel the renewal of strength and power physically present in the body and also in the mind.

4)  Cognitive Behavior Therapy:  Use the meditation above as a thinking exercise throughout the day.  Say, “I am strong and confident.” as you breathe in.  Say, “I release doubt and fear.” as you exhale.  Find the right words to fit your needs and repeat throughout the day – often!  Or, just keep breathing in the strong and powerful words alone.

5) Power Poses:  Headstand or handstand - these are considered the king and the queen of the asanas/poses!  If you are not ready for the full pose, there are ways to get there gradually, allowing your body to strengthen gradually until you are strong enough for the full pose.  

6)  Chant:  Jai!  Pronounce this chant as "J-uh-yee"!!!!  This is a victory chant.  Do a fist pump with it and feel like you are gaining on and winning over the fears and doubts that have been holding you back!  Repeat often.

Now, you are ready to gain control over those fears and worries and feel strength and confidence! Practice daily.  Questions?  Need assistance? Contact me:  circleofstoneswellness.com

Wondering if You Can Control Stress and Anxiety? Here are 6 ways!

The stress response is something we all need to understand better.  When stress is present, the brain and the body send out signals to prepare for fight or flight.  Once the process gets moving, blood pressure and heart rate rise, we might get sweaty, a little shaky, and tense.  If the response is not turned down, it gets worse.  Systems of the body are affected - the immune, digestive, reproductive, and cardiovascular systems are all being turned down a notch and then another, and another..... If you are not able to turn the stress response down, anger, pain, headaches, upset stomach, high blood pressure, insomnia, illness and disease and more are possible.  Even the ability to speak is affected if things are stressful enough.  The speech center of the brain is turned down when severe responses are present.  Then, oftentimes, it turns into depression as the system feels overwhelmed and decides to shut down - it's just too much to handle!

This system is partially, maybe even entirely, under your control with some training.  We can not stop life from throwing stressful and challenging events our way, but we can get through them without all of the deleterious effects of the stress response.  What if you could face a stressful work meeting, a difficult family discussion, a challenging situation with a clear mind and a sense of calm and control in your body?  Time to start training!

1)  Breathe:  Think of your nervous system as a water faucet.  There is a hot water valve (the sympathetic nervous system) reacting to stress with the fight or flight response.  And, there is the cold water valve (the para-sympathetic nervous system) reacting to bring the hot water back to a luke warm temperature.  Do this breath awareness exercise.  First notice how you feel in the nervous system and explore your breathing until you find a way to turn on the cold water valve and get your mind and body to feel calm.  Every time, you want to change the "temperature" of your nervous system, explore the breath until you are in charge.

2)  Meditate:   Begin with the calming breath. Get yourself in a calm state in mind and in body.  Then, imagine a stressful event or challenge - either that you are anticipating or preparing for or one that previously happened.  As you imagine the event, keep your breath as a calming agent, allowing you to have the response of your choice - you are able to say exactly the right thing, you don't fly off into a rage, you handle the situation in a calm, cool and collected way.  Practice every day for 5 minutes or more for 30 days.  You will have a new brain after all that training!

3)  Relaxation:   Use the breath to relax the whole body, encasing yourself in a blanket of calm.  When you feel calm, notice the breath is shallow and gentle.  Let that breath continue.  Now, scan your body toes up or head down and make sure to eliminate any tension still lingering.  Tension in the body communicates stress to the brain and you'll soon find yourself out of that nice calm, peaceful state of being.

4)  Cognitive Behavior Therapy:  What fires together wires together.  Let’s use this brain process to our advantage.  Teach your nervous system to associate a stressful event or a challenging event with peace and calm.  Practice a calming breath when doing something strenuous or stressful.  This is one benefit of running long distances or going through any strenuous training.  A sense of staying calm and focused through the most challenging parts of the physical exertion.  Not to say the body isn't in high energy mode.  It is!  But, the mind stays clear, present and calm.  It even learns to enjoy the challenge.  What you do is practice something challenging and while practicing, keep the breath steady and calm, keep the mind focused on the steady, calm of the breath. You might not be able to stay calm for a while, but keep trying. Keep training. Then once you've got it mastered, start using that same skill during any kind of challenging, stressful, or difficult situation.  Spread that calm around!

5) Power Pose:  Forearm plank is the perfect pose for practicing a calming focused breath while challenging the body.  Hold for as long as you can.  Then, begin to challenge yourself to hold for longer and longer times, staying in that peaceful state of mind.

6)  Chant:  Om shanti, shanti, shanti, Om.  This chant has a long, long history of creating peace and calm. Start with a low tone and raise it up gradually toward the last Om.  Repeat as often as feels helpful and practice as often as needed.  

The only way to change your stress response is to train!  Try something on this list everyday.  Questions? Contact me:  circleofstoneswellness.com

It's Time to Celebrate YOU! 6 Ways to Make Your Life Better by Celebrating the Awesomeness of You!

It is pretty easy to get lost in the "my life sucks" mindset.  Not only is the brain wired to pay attention to what it is that sucks, but we have a bit of cultural preference for this.  First off, the brain is evolutionarily set up for survival and paying attention to stressors and challenges is part of it's job.  So, unfortunately, it is pretty good at it.  No worries!  The brain can be retrained!  Secondly, our cultural penchant is for the downer Debbie, complainer, gossiper, and caller out of all things negative.  Those that are viewed as wearing rose colored glasses or as too positively Polyanna-like are dismissed and seen as less respectable.

Good mental health, however, needs some celebration.  I am not talking about birthdays and holidays, but EVERYDAYS!  Celebrate your mind, body and spirit on a daily basis and you will find yourself enjoying life.

1)  Cognitive Behavior Therapy:  Every time I suggest the cognitive exercise using rubber bands on the wrists, people are prepared to snap themselves when negative thoughts arise. That is NOT the kind of exercise I propose.  In fact, it does not even need to be rubber bands.  You can wear a watch or a bracelet as well.  Start with the band on the right arm and every time you have a feeling that deserves celebrating take in a full breath, smile, switch the band to the other arm and acknowledge the feeling.  Here’s an example:  I was driving on a very busy 6 lane road.  I saw a woman with bright red shorts and shirt at the bus stop moving and grooving to whatever she had playing in her headphones – just like no one was watching, clearly enjoying herself.  I couldn’t help but smile.  I caught that smile, took in a big breath, carefully switched over the band to the other wrist (safety first), and thought “people are so awesome!”  All the steps in this simple practice get your brain tuned in to these celebratory moments – the movement, the breath, the smile and the thought.

2)  Power Pose:  I love the way crescent lunge makes me feel like I am strong and grounded and yet reaching up with great joy to the sky. 

Hold the pose for 5 breaths and feel the power and joy expand!

3)  Relaxation:   Do a facial massage before beginning relaxation today.  It takes about 5 minutes and feels great!  Use the technique described here:  http://www.wikihow.com/Give-Yourself-a-Facial-Massage  Then, do the triangle breath described below for 7-10 rounds.  Then, beginning from your toes upward through your body, notice if you are holding any tension, wiggle around, move and release the tension.  Now, your body is relaxed.  Settle in for a minute or 5 minutes with a gentle smile on your face to enjoy and celebrate being relaxed!

4)  Meditate:   Begin with the triangle breath described below for a couple rounds.  Think of aspects of your physical body you feel good about and celebrate each of them.  Think of aspects of your mind and your feelings that you enjoy

and celebrate those.  Finally, think of aspects of spirit you can celebrate.  The thoughts bring in a feeling.  Keep the feeling in your body, mind, and heart and allow every cell to soak it in.  Stay as long as you can.  The more you practice this, the better your mind and body get at the creating and connecting to the feeling – what fires together, wires together!

5)  Breathe:  The triangle breath has, you guessed it, 3 parts -the inhale, a retention (hold), and exhale.  The length of each is up to you, but it is recommended to begin with 4,7,8.  Let Andrew Weil show you how:  http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/VDR00160/Dr-Weils-Breathing-Exercises-4-7-8-Breath.html

6)  Chant:  Our chant, Jai-Ma! Means to acknowledge and give gratitude!  It is pronounced Ji-yah-mah.  The literal interpretation is to give thanks to the mother.  I invoke this chant as a way to thank Spirit (whatever that is to you, within or without or both) and to call the Spirit up to remove all obstacles in the way of being truly grateful and celebratory toward this life!

Are you practicing every day yet?  The more you practice, the easier good mental health gets.  You don't need to do all 6 every day, but regularly and as often as possible.  If you need guidance, contact me:  circleofstoneswellness.com

Feeling Disconnected? Here are 6 Ways to Get Connected and Feel Better About Yourself!

We live our lives disconnected.  We are disconnected from what is going on in our bodies until it is too late and illness makes us pay attention.  We are disconnected from what our brains are up to - as discussed last week, we are running on auto-pilot.  We are disconnected from Spirit - what brings meaning?  What brings faith?  What brings joy?  We don't have time for that in a day!  Not only are we

disconnected from these aspects of Self, but we are disconnected from others.  Oh, we might have a few people around that we are interacting with, but nothing with depth and meaning.  This is NOT good for mental health!

True, some of us have some really good reasons to disconnect.  Those with traumatic histories often disconnect from the body, because bad things have happened there.  Same with the brain - who wants to spend time there when it is so negative?!  No one has time for spirit and what the heck is it anyway?  And, the complications of relationships.....let's not even go there.  It is too much!

Guess what though?  This disconnectedness is ruining your mental and physical health.  Having a good working relationship between the brain and the body is paramount to healthy living.  And, good relationships to others help alot too!  It is all manageable and we can manage deeper more meaningful connections in all aspects of our lives.

1)  Cognitive Behavior Therapy:  Finding meaning is super important to living a happy life.  It's what kept Viktor Frankl alive through the Nazi concentration camps and afterward he created a theory of psychology called Logotherapy described in Man's Search for Meaning.  Do the following exercise on paper or in your head:   Every day ask yourself "What/who made me feel amazed today?"  "What/who am I grateful for?  What/who caused me to feel joy?  These kinds of questions clue us in to spirit and what feeds our souls. After about 30 days of recording, make your daily goal to get more of these fulfilling aspects of life into your daily life. 

2)  Power Pose:  I chose Warrior II pose this week, because it is a powerful pose! Also, the story goes that the position of the arms and the eyes over the forward arm is the bow and arrow aim of the warrior (toward his rival, but let's be peaceful).  We will think of aiming toward another - maybe someone you'd like to connect more deeply with OR aim at some goal for improving your connection to a more meaningful life! 

3)  Relaxation:  Usually, we lie down for relaxation, but you can practice this version sitting as well.  This is a scan of each part of the body and can be started at the top of the head -down OR the feet -up.  Connect to each area of the body directly and purposely to relax.  Or, you can pick a part of the body that bothers you and connect to that space and stay there, not complaining about it or judging it for being so bothersome, but just paying full attention to it with your mind and your breath.  Seems counter-intuitive, but the fight not to feel something contributes to it's higher pain levels.  The same can be done with painful thoughts.

4)  Meditate:  Ahhhhhh, my favorite meditation!  Brings such comfort.  This meditation has books written about it, so the full teaching is simply not going to happen in a paragraph.  The benefit that we are looking for in the practice with this week's intention of connection is to connect to self and then to others with meaning and depth.  There are multiple versions, I am linking one here for you.  

5)  Breathe:  The breath is your ticket to controlling the nervous system.  It is your 

way of turning on the para-sympathetic nervous system and getting your sympathetic nervous system turned down.  We will talk more about these in the future, but for now, make it your goal to practice this full breath from the belly to collar bones twice a day (minimum) for 4 rounds.  It takes 2 minutes - seriously, you have 2 minutes!

6)  Chant:  This chant can be said out loud or silently in your head.  For the silent version, you will combine it with your breath.  On the inhale in your head, say "Ham (h-ahh-mm)" and on the exhale say "Sa (s-ahh)".  For the out loud version, take a full breath in and say "Hahhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm-Saahhhhhhhhh."  Repeat 3-4 times or more.  This is a mantra for deep reverence toward and connection with Self.

Take time for this list of 6 every day, if you can or just one of the 6 - it can take you 2 minutes or more dependning on what you choose to commit to and have time for.  All of these practices are changing the relationship you have going on between your brain and your body for the better!

Contact me with comments or questions or to join a class or schedule a private session at tammysytsma@circleofstoneswellness.com

Six Ways to Get Grounded

When we go through the day running from one activity to the next, one problem to the next, one task to the next, the brain and the body are the last things that get time and consideration.  And that, creates problems.  These problems manifest as feelings of too much stress, an inability to cope with

anxious feelings, and getting so overwhelmed that you create unhealthy coping mechanisms ( a quart of ice cream is not a healthy coping mechanism).  In addition, symptoms such as insomnia, appetite changes, digestive issues, body tension and pain, and many others manifest and become serious health issues.  The brain and the body have a really close relationship that needs our attention!

To be grounded means to be present, aware, and attentive to your body and your brain, so that problems with this highly important relationship do not develop.

There are many ways that one can get grounded.  I am going to cover 6 in the same categories I covered last week.  I chose these categories, because there is research and centuries of experience behind them.  None of my suggestions in this writing are time consuming.  You have 12-16+ hours in a day.  You can take 1-8 (yes, that's 1-8 not 18) minutes here and there and practice the following easy techniques.

1)  Cognitive Behavior Therapy:  This is an awareness exercise.  We often are unaware of the body/brain processes until they are screaming out to us - "feed me!"  Close your eyes and notice the breath.  Then, notice what you are feeling in the body.  Are you hungry?  Thirsty?  Tired? Etc.  What's happening in your brain?  Are you distracted?  Happy?  Anxious? Etc. Then, open your eyes.  What do you see around you?  What do you hear?  Go through the senses.  Do this once or multiple times in a day.

2)  Power Pose:  This pose is called Sukhasana (soo-KAH-sah-nah).  It means easy pose, but for some it is not very easy.  The power of this pose that I would like to focus on is in the pelvis.  Think of the pelvis as a butterfly shape and make it your goal to sit with the pelvis straight up and down.  We all have a tilt in the pelvis - forward at the hip bones or forward at the tail bone.  The straight up and down position creates power in that it enables us to sit upright through the spine and the upright stance prevents the slump.  When we slump, we have less energy, we feel less confident, and we are less engaged and more isolated from the external world.  So, whether you sit on the floor as pictured or just in a chair with your feet on the floor, no matter.  Just find a way to adjust the pelvis and sit upright!

3)  Relaxation:  Progressive relaxation is a common tool used in yoga classes, therapy sessions, and wellness classes.  It teaches awareness of tension.  The brain and the body communicate both ways.  The body tells the brain some things and vice versa.  Tension in the body communicates - "Yikes! Something is not ok!!!"  If the brain gets this message, it will continue to send out stress hormones and now you are stuck in a vicious cycle. We carry around tension without awareness and as habit.  Practice progressive relaxation anytime, but it is especially helpful before bed.   Here is a video to get you started:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyauYKLdWfE

4)  Meditate:  Sit as instructed above.  Close or soften your eyes.  As you inhale, feel like you are lifting and rising taller, extending upward.  As you exhale, feel you are settling into your seat, more connected to the earth, more grounded.  Imagine a plant such as a tree or flower - rooted and at the same time growing tall and extending to the sun.  Do for as long as you like!

5)  Breathe:  Mindful breathing is THE, yes THE best way to calm yourself and get grounded!  But, it takes some practice.  Close your eyes.  Focus on the breath.  You can attend to the sound of the breath, the movement of the breath, the movement of the body as you breathe.  Whatever works.  Your mind will wander.  It will!  The goal is not to stop it from wandering 100%.  The goal is to practice noticing when it wanders, catch it, and bring it back to the breath.  Like a bicep curl, you are strengthening your ability to focus on one thing.

6)  Chant:  Sound therapy is really effective for turning on endorphins and oxytocin.  If you don't know what those are, they are the hormones that make us feel a sense of ahhhhhhhh!  This chant creates a rooted feeling.  Pick a low note that you can hold and say, "Lang" - say it long and slow 3 or more times with a big full breath in between.

Again, you now have your practice for the week!  Take time to do something or everything on this list every day.  The more you practice, the more your brain and body thank you!

Contact me with questions or for more information and assistance at tammysytsma@circleofstoneswellness.com

Six Ways to Practice Gratitude for the Sake of Your Mental Health

Mental health is a matter of creating a good relationship between the brain and the body.  When this relationship is out of whack, we think are losing it or simply unable to cope - it just gets to be too much!  Somewhere, somehow along the line the brain and the body started mixing up signals and mis-communicating and now the patterns of thinking and reacting are very unpleasant.  Time to fix that brain-body relationship!

There are a few ways that we can improve our mental health by simply retraining the brain and the nervous system.  I use 6 methods in my yoga classes to improve mental health.  However, just coming to class isn't enough to retrain the brain and nervous system.  So, the following 6 skills are for practicing at home.  Everyday, and even throughout the day, practice is what brings the brain and body together.  Practice each of these every day for the next week and beyond.

1) Cognitive Behavior Therapy:  The more you think a certain way or about certain topics, the better your brain gets at this way of thinking.  I like to think of it as super highways and rustic roads.  If you spend a great deal of time thinking in a certain way, it becomes an automatic super highway. We are really good at thinking about and noticing what is going wrong in our days, what is not going well in life in general, and how the people in our lives could and should behave differently.  These thought patterns, for most of us, are on the super highway.  What we want to change to is making gratitude a super highway thinking pattern.  Everyday, throughout the day, find things to be grateful for.  Write them down, you can.


2)  Power pose:  Research has shown that practicing a stance similar to the super-heroes' such as Superman or Wonder Woman increases confidence.  In order to find strength in gratitude, practice a Warrior 1 Pose with arms behind the back to feel powerful and open the heart to gratitude at the same time.


3)  Relaxation:  This is a double whammy against stress and anxiety, because we are working with both body awareness and mental awareness in an attempt to retrain the system as a whole.  Lie comfortably and still and take your awareness slowly through each area of the body, relaxing and at the same time, feeling grateful for that body area.  For example, relax your feet, then feel grateful for you feet.  Sound weird?  Maybe, but let's not take those feet for granted!  And, I bet you are more than capable of complaining about your feet when they hurt!  By the way, your mind will think of a million other things during this exercise - stick with it!

4)  Meditation:  Speaking of the mind thinking of a million other things...that is exactly what happens during meditation.  But, every time it wanders and you bring it back, it is like a bicep curl, strengthening your ability to control your mind.  For this meditation, create a mindset of gratitude.  Then, let the gratitude become a feeling that you allow to permeate your entire body - thinking and feeling gratitude all over.  Stay for 1 minute or 2 or 5 or 10 or 20.  Whatever you can stick with and make happen every day.

5)  Breathing:  The number 1, easiest method for getting the mind and the body to work together is the breath.  You can do it anytime, anywhere and no one needs to know.  In this case, however, lie down on something like the image shows - a pillow or rolled blanket or yoga bolster.  Legs can be bent or straight.  In this position, we have a full open space for the breath and we are encouraging even bigger space by stretching the breathing muscles.  Breathe full deep breaths in and out and at the same time, feel as if gratitude were gaining in power and radiating from the chest (the heart center) outward into the space around you and beyond.

6)  Chant or sing or laugh:  These 3 practices open the blood vessels with oxytocin.  Chant the word YAM which is pronounced Yang.  Place your hand on your heart and chant the word a few times in a low note, so you feel your chest vibrating under your hand.

Now, you have your practice for the week!  Take time to do something or everything on this list every day.  The more you practice, the more your brain and body will want more!

Contact me with questions or for more information and assistance at tammysytsma@circleofstoneswellness.com

Lead Yourself Toward a Great Life Just by the Focus of Your Thoughts - 5 Practices to Get You Started 

~Tammy Sytsma, Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Yoga Therapist





Practice makes perfect right?  When it comes to the brain, yes!  Of course, the brain is more complicated than that. But, one immensely powerful way to change the direction of your thoughts is through practice.  To some extent, the brain is like a computer - what you put in, you get back out.  And, the more you put it in, the better the brain gets at spitting it back out.  So much so, that some thoughts and behaviors occur unconsciously based on this input.

This is a good thing in most cases.  Example, a toddler learning to get the spoon in his mouth.  There comes a time when this needs to be something effortless, involving very little conscious thought or eating with a spoon will be too complicated a task.  Let's grow up a little bit and consider learning to drive.  Even getting the key in the ignition needs to be a conscious process of thinking and remembering, not to mention which foot goes with which pedal and the myriad other little tasks and thought processes that keep us on the road.  We experience this in a small way when we drive a rental or another person's car.  Where's the switch for the turn signal?!

So, now that you know why focus matters, here's what to do, so the great life you want is part of this automatic thinking process:

1. Start your day in a positive direction- While still lying in bed think of all the things you are looking forward to in the day.  If that is hard, then think of one thing - goal is to raise that number gradually.

2. Play music or audio with a positive message- Getting breakfast ready with some music in the background that makes you happy or driving to the office with an audio book or podcast that contains positive information or encouraging messages will get your external environment to support this internal change.

3. Avoid the gossips and complainers- The only reason we gossip or talk about others or complain about situations is to boost our own sense of self.  Problem is, it is also causing you to focus on what is flawed in yourself or your work. You will get back to your desk and make sure to hide any mistakes and shortcomings that might fuel the gossips.  Stay away from this behavior and instead find positives about the people you work with and your work situation.

4. Look for proof of what is right, not just what is wrong- The brain is evolutionarily set up to pay attention more closely to what is wrong in the environment.  Our ancestors did not live as safely as we do - they had nature, insects, wild animals, and dangerous neighbors to contend with on a daily basis.  Daily survival meant paying attention!  We still have that brain, but no longer have that kind or quantity of dangers to attend to, so we tend toward seeing stressors much more easily.  Instead, look around and notice what is positive in your environment.  Look inside and notice what is positive internally.

5. Practice gratitude- At the end of the day, review your day and list what you are grateful for or whatever went well in the day.  Look for what you enjoyed - a smile, a laugh, a flower, the weather -the small and the large and everything in between.

A positive and encouraging focus will rewire your brain toward what you are trying to accomplish and build a foundation that is solidly motivating and helpful to who you want to become and what you want to create!