Yogis talk about the idea of "playing your edge" or "finding your edge." Edge is the perfect concept to incorporate into commitment making for more success. Having an ideal to look toward can get us up and moving when our normal patterns are to not move so much. They can cause us to consider and make foods we never would have tried and lose a few pounds. They can get us through that difficult training course that will make us eligible for the promotion. But, as we all know, they might not. Or, they might motivate us to do those things for a while, but we can't stick with it. We fall back to the old ways and when that external motivator goes away, we no longer get moving, cook healthy meals, or seek to improve ourselves professionally. What we need to stick with it is edge.
We need a sense of awareness - this is the starting point, what the mind and the body are able to do now. We also need compassion. Knowing where you are beginning from and being really kind and respectful of that starting line. Then, you focus on your goal, your ideal, without losing track of what's going on inside. When we ignore the body's needs in order to power through the diet or power through the event, the reward system doesn't feel rewarded. For a while the brain is like, "Hell yah! I really am enjoying this new stuff we're doing!" But, novelty wears off in 3-5 weeks and those ingrained patterns of mind and body, come back. Our systems like those patterns. Without the reward of gentleness, kindness, and respect through mindful awareness, those old patterns always return.
So, how do we do this commitment thing? How do we set and reach our goals successfully and stay there? It's a balance of the external ideal and the internal awareness that keeps you compassionate and kind toward yourself. It's edge. Here's how to find your edge:
1. Breathe: Remember that the breath has this really awesome duality that allows it to be an unconscious function as well as a conscious function. When we breathe on purpose in a certain way with awareness, we bring the breath to the conscious parts of the brain. When we are going about the day or sleeping, the breath just happens, it becomes an automatic function the body does without your conscious awareness. So what? Well, if you begin to breathe consciously here and there throughout the day, you will bring an awareness into the day that will show you what is going on in the body and the mind - you will know you are tense, you will know you are hungry, you will know you are over-thinking, you will know you are craving......And, with practice, you will begin to know what to do to relieve these feelings in a healthy, respectful of your body and your goals, way. So, set your watch, phone, computer, alarm for 3-5 times a day. Stop when it goes off and pause to breathe on purpose with awareness for 1 minute. Be aware of the body, the mind, the spirit - whatever comes up.
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3. Relax: Progressive relaxation is a common way to end a yoga class and it is used often to teach people how to relax. The reason it is so effective is that we are so unaware of tension in the body. It becomes the norm and we do not realize it is there. Progressive relaxation teaches us to know where tension is and how to release it. A daily practice before bed can be very effective for sleep as well. Here is a guide: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyauYKLdWfE
4. Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Awareness is a key component to success with CBT. We are not even aware of how our thoughts are creating failure. Set your goal, make your commitment, create your intention. Now, write it down somewhere prominent - on a mirror, a door, the refrigerator, somewhere you will see it on a regular basis. Every time you see it, ask yourself, how am I feeling about my goal at this moment? If you are feeling pretty down and hopeless about it, acknowledge that. Here is a sample conversation to then have with yourself: "Ok, I am not feeling very hopeful today. Today is a hard day. I am going to have hard days. Not every day is going to be awesome. Tomorrow will be better." If you look at that goal and feel pretty great about it, then try something like this: "I am feeling great! I can do this! I am strong, I am capable, I can and will get through this challenge!" Acknowledge the feelings, encourage yourself, and reward good days with positivity and further motivation. Even on bad days, reward yourself with kind words.
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6. Affirm: My mind and my body are calm (take a breath), I am focused, I am able. I am patient and I am kind toward myself on this journey.
7. Chant: So Hum. This chant means "I am." If you prefer, you can chant I am instead. Use it to cultivate awareness of where you are in mind, body, and spirit, right now, in the present.
Change your life by practicing the above 7 skills as often as possible. You have to train the mind and body into new patterns! Contact me with comments or questions: tammysytsma@circleofstoneswellness.com OR check out the services on my website for info. about individual sessions and group sessions offered. circleofstoneswellness.com
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